In a new format to hockey, Southend’s third string gifted Brentwood the first half and then shafted them in the second.

After a bright pre match team talk, The Seasiders found themselves a goal down within minutes after a bizarre goal, which wouldn’t have looked out of place on a badminton court.

Brentwood’s second came after a strike that was going wide of the goal was deflected in off the stick of Marcus Watson - an act he later denied any knowledge of in the bar afterwards.

The next four Brentwood goals were a blur to our esteemed reporter, but were all clinical and well executed.

Southend enjoyed a brief purple patch when Jamie McPhee penetrated the opposition D and found themselves stick of Mickey Walsh who deflected it into the goal.
Dan Bisgrove desperately tried to claim the goal, but then he doesn’t write the match reports! The sensation Dan felt was his stick running up Walsh’s, as Walsh hit the ball, and the fuzzy feeling he got was very similar to that of a goal scorer - but different.

In the second period Adam Lloyd skipped through the Brentwood defence to to give The Blue Pill Boys a glimmer of hope.
His second came after superb link up play with Issac Williams and he slotted it neatly passed the keeper, after noticing that he had short legs, and placed it into the corner.

Lloyd denied himself a hat trick, and subsequently a jug, when an open goal beckoned and his bloody great plates of meat got in the way.

Brentwood came back with their only goal of the half, before Walsh popped up, after another superb Williams move, found the handsome striker alone on the P spot, and he made no mistake in rattling the back board.

Defender Martin Allen began taking his shower halfway through the second half, but was still the last one out after making sure the rest of the team were thoroughly soaped up after the finale.

New tactics for next week - a beer briefing in Chigwell before the match!
Lose, lose, on the booze!